soma (somasonic) wrote,
soma
somasonic

ERRYFISH IN DA TANK GETTIN' TIPS

i feel like 'fish' should be short for something, like 'phone' being short for 'telephone.' but it isn't.

since you brought fish up, let me introduce you to mine:

j'ai un poisson
fishy fishy


she's sort of new, and her name is TFA, which stands for Temporary Fish A since, as you might know, she had like an 80% chance of dying rather quickly once bought. somehow, though, she's toughed it out for about a week, so now you all can meet her since odds are about 50-50 live-or-die.

since my livejournal audience is a bunch of fucking perverts: no i did not look up her skirt to check her sex. simply enough she is a black molly, and just like ladybugs, no self-respecting fishologist would give some fish a name like that unless exactly all of them were girls. so, It's A Girl.

this post would really suck if i left it here, i know. in the same way that boys are judged by their cars and girls by their pearls [wahoo-wa] or whatever, you can judge a fish by the tank it lives in. so, without further ado, i present the most important part of the post:


E'RYFISH IN DA TANK GETTIN' TIPS
can i get a 'what what'???


TFA resides in a television. a panasonic, to be precise. i left the dials at home so there's currently large holes covered in electrical tape which look sort of silly when the lights are on but pretty badass when they're off. it's like a rave, being hosted by my fish, is constantly going on when the lights dim.

aquarium fish tank tank fish tank aquarium aqua tank fish tv tv tv tv tv tv tv tv
FTV's cribs presents: my fish


so i gutted the TV pretty easily, and since it hadn't been plugged in for about six hundred years it didn't get a chance to shock me to death, which TVs have been known to do, even without the aquarium-ish addition of water. i used a dremel to cut apart some replacement-for-glass plastic stuff i bought at lowes and then used epoxy to stick the pieces together. BAD MOVE!

this is why i told you a hundred times over that 100% silicone aquarium sealant is all you need. the epoxy is probably deadly toxic as death toxin to fish or people or i mean anything. this wouldn't matter if the seal formed by the aquarium sealant was prefect, but let's not have any pretense here: i am not in the upper ten percentiles when it comes to perfection, so i'm damn well gonna make a tank that leaks. which it does.

anyway, though, TFA is still breathin' in her little gilly way, so i guess she isn't being killed by it yet.

fish tank heaven, in a television.
i'll never get over how much it looks like a case mod.


making a fish tank out of a television [a small television] sort of doesn't work in one respect, and that respect is size. this tank is super small, and only holds like two gallons, and that's only when it doesn't have bubblers or gravel or that totally fake plant or anything in it. in real life i bet TFA is swimming in around 1 1/2 gallons, but you know, it's the fish equivalent to a pretty swank apartment. or bachelorette pad.

p.s., background image of donuts courtesy of david dexter's teen magazine that he keeps on his shelf 'cause it's got rachel bilson on the cover.


it's behind a cut so you'll have to take the laborious step of clicking and committing in order to look at the death-defying pictures.
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